Taking the train to MIchigan

Its been awhile since I've written on this thing. So much has been going on. Recently(in fact just yesterday), I returned from a short visit home. That's Michigan for those that don't know. The reason for my trip home was to visit with my neice and nephew who were visiting their father, my brother. I hadn't seen them since last summer so it was a necceasary trip.

For the most part it was ok. Part of it really stunk however. I'm one of those people who gets an idea in their head of how things should go and when it doesn't go according to plan, I get uber frustrated. That was this past week. Several times I had "made" plans with individuals and they bailed which left me sitting alone at my brothers apartment. Sad, huh?

Seeing Gabe and Sadie is always a highlight for me. They are some pretty terrific kids. I love all my nephews and neice. I have three other nephews that belong to my oldest sister. Everyone of them is smart, funny, adorable and pretty cool little people. Gabe and Sadie hold a special place with me however. I've known them since minutes after their births, babysat them countless times, and watched them grow up on a daily basis. So, not seeing them for a year is a hard thing to swallow at times. They really and truly are little adults. I miss the little goobers when I don't see them. Both really truly are great kids and I can't wait for someday when we get to be really good friends.

Another individual I was looking forward to seeing was an ex. Yeah, I know...usually not a good idea. Well, this guy(who will remain nameless for the moment) is a great friend despite it not working out between us. He was the one who really helped me through a hard time in my life. Dealt with alot of my crap. Wasn't afraid to tell me I was being stupid but at the same time let me cry for some ridiculous reason. Unfortunetly, I didn't get to see him. On the trip home, that was the only part of the trip that saddened me. Its been a year since I've spent anytime with him and I miss just being around him. Talking to him, driving around, watching tv, and sitting at the airport for hours. These are the things I miss.

So, I'm not sure if it was a blessing in disguise to not see him(since it might have hurt worse to have a few moments and then none at all) or that it just majorly sucks not to see him for a few minutes. Just a glimpse. That's always a major dilemma for me. A deep question that I'm not sure has an answer. If I could see this person or see my dad(who passed away 3 1/2 years ago), would I chose 5 minutes or none at all? Yeah, it would be amazing to see either one, but would that initial hurt come back in full force. 5 minutes wouldn't be enough time to talk to either one of them and tell them all the things I've wanted to tell them. I would just want to ask for another 5 minutes and another and another. I would never be satisfied. That's what its like to love...I guess.

Anyway, the trip home wasn't a waste. It wasn't fantastic but it didn't completly suck. I'm glad to be back in New Orleans. Which I can now tell when people aren't from town just by how they said new orleans.

I am moving this weekend in with a friend whom I work with. I'm am super excited. not in the jump up and down excited way. Just happy and thrilled...keep talking about it. I love my mother(whom I live with at the moment) but I need to move to perserve both of our sanities. I'm working on reducing the amount of stress in my life and this is step one. Next step..work situation. 3rd step..get back to school.

Its amazing how a trip can make you see things from a different perspective.